CLASS 11 Chapter 4 The Ghat of the only world
THE first time that Agha Shahid Ali spoke to me about his approaching death was on 25 April 2001. The conversation began routinely. I had telephoned to remind him that we had been invited to a friend’s house for lunch and that I was going to come by his apartment to pick him up.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Agha | आगा | आदिल |
| Shahid | शाहिद | साक्षी |
| Ali | अली | एक शूरवीर |
| Death | डेथ | मौत |
| April | एप्रिल | अप्रैल |
| Conversation | कन्वर्सेशन | बातचीत |
| Lunch | लंच | दोपहर का भोजन |
| Friend | फ्रेंड | दोस्त |
| House | हाउस | घर |
| Apartment | अपार्टमेंट | अपार्टमेंट |
| Pick | पिक | चुनना |
| Routine | रूटीन | नियमित |
| Remind | रिमाइंड | याद दिलाना |
| Invited | इन्वाइटेड | आमंत्रित |
| Approaching | अप्रोचिंग | नजदीक |
| Up | अप | ऊपर |
| Telephoned | टेलीफ़ोन्ड | फोन किया |
| Me | मी | मुझे |
| His | हिस | उसका |
| That | दैट | वह |
| To | टू | को |
| We | वी | हम |
| Been | बीन | रहे |
| Going | गोइंग | जा रहा हो |
| Come | कम | आओ |
| By | बाय | के द्वारा |
| I | आई | मैं |
| Up | अप | ऊपर |
Although Shahid and I had talked a great deal over the last many weeks, I had never before heard him touch on the subject of death. I did not know how to respond: his voice was completely at odds with the content of what he had just said, light to the point of jocularity.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | साक्षी |
| Subject | सब्जेक्ट | विषय |
| Death | डेथ | मौत |
| Voice | वॉयस | आवाज़ |
| Content | कंटेंट | सामग्री |
| Point | पॉइंट | बिंदु |
| Jocularity | जोक्यूलैरिटी | मजाकियता |
| Weeks | वीक्स | हफ्तों |
| Response | रिस्पॉंस | प्रतिक्रिया |
| Odds | ऑड्स | विपरीतता |
| Deal | डील | समझौता |
| Touch | टच | छूना |
| Last | लास्ट | अंतिम |
| Light | लाइट | हल्का |
| Before | बिफ़ोर | पहले |
| Just | जस्ट | बस |
| Said | सेड | कहा |
| Completely | कंप्लीटली | पूर्णरूप से |
| Many | मेनी | बहुत सारे |
| How | हाउ | कैसे |
| Great | ग्रेट | महान |
| Talked | टॉक्ड | बातचीत की |
| Never | नेवर | कभी नहीं |
| Heard | हर्ड | सुना |
| Know | नो | जानना |
| Respond | रिस्पॉंड | प्रतिक्रिया करना |
| Completely | कंप्लीटली | पूर्णरूप से |
| Point | पॉइंट | बिंदु |
| Jocularity | जोक्यूलैरिटी | मजाकियता |
| Light | लाइट | हल्का |
| Weeks | वीक्स | हफ्तों |
| Response | रिस्पॉंस | प्रतिक्रिया |
| Odds | ऑड्स | विपरीतता |
| Deal | डील | समझौता |
| Touch | टच | छूना |
| Subject | सब्जेक्ट | विषय |
| Voice | वॉयस | आवाज़ |
| Content | कंटेंट | सामग्री |
| Point | पॉइंट | बिंदु |
| Jocularity | जोक्यूलैरिटी | मजाकियता |
| Light | लाइट | हल्का |
I mumbled something innocuous: ‘No Shahid — of course not. You’ll be fine.’ He cut me short. In a tone of voice that was at once quizzical and direct, he said: ‘When it happens I hope you’lle something about me.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Something | समथिंग | कुछ |
| Shahid | शाहिद | साक्षी |
| Course | कोर्स | पाठ्यक्रम |
| Tone | टोन | ध्वनि |
| Voice | वॉयस | आवाज़ |
| Direct | डायरेक्ट | सीधा |
| Happens | हैपन्स | होता है |
| Write | राइट | लिखना |
| Quizzical | क्विजिकल | संदेहपूर्ण |
| Me | मी | मुझे |
| Mumbled | मम्बल्ड | बुझबुझाना |
| Short | शॉर्ट | संक्षिप्त |
| Fine | फाइन | ठीक |
| Innocuous | इनोक्यूस | अहानुपयोगी |
| Hope | होप | आशा |
| Once | वन्स | एक बार |
| About | अबाउट | के बारे में |
| Cut | कट | काटना |
| Said | सेड | कहा |
I was shocked into silence and a long moment passed before I could bring myself to say the things that people say on such occasions. ‘Shahid you’ll be fine; you have to be strong…’ From the window of my study I could see a corner of the building in which he lived, some eight blocks away.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Silence | साइलेंस | मौन |
| Moment | मोमेंट | पल |
| Things | थिंग्स | चीज़ें |
| People | पीपल | लोग |
| Occasions | अकेजन्स | अवसर |
| Window | विंडो | खिड़की |
| Study | स्टडी | अध्ययनकक्ष |
| Corner | कॉर्नर | कोना |
| Building | बिल्डिंग | इमारत |
| Blocks | ब्लॉक्स | खंड |
| Away | अवे | दूर |
| Say | से | कहना |
| Eight | एइट | आठ |
| Strong | स्ट्रॉंग | मजबूत |
| Long | लॉंग | लंबा |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | खुद |
| Bring | ब्रिंग | लाना |
| Lived | लिव्ड | रहता था |
| Passed | पास्ड | गुज़र गया |
| Shocked | शॉक्ड | आश्चर्यचकित |
It was just a few months since he moved there: he had been living a few miles away, in Manhattan, when he had a sudden blackout in February 2000. After tests revealed that he had a malignant brain tumour, he decided to move to Brooklyn, to be close to his youngest sister, Sameetah, who teaches at the Pratt Institute—a few blocks away from the street where I live
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Months | मन्थ्स | महीने |
| Moved | मूव्ड | चल दिया |
| Living | लिविंग | रहना |
| Miles | माइल्स | मील |
| Manhattan | मैनहटन | मैनहटन |
| Sudden | सड़न | अचानक |
| Blackout | ब्लैकआउट | विद्युत संकट |
| Tests | टेस्ट्स | परीक्षण |
| Revealed | रिवील्ड | पता चला |
| Malignant | मैलिग्नेंट | कटिबंधी |
| Brain | ब्रेन | मस्तिष्क |
| Tumour | ट्यूमर | गांठ |
| Decided | डिसाइडेड | निर्णय किया |
| Move | मूव | हिलना |
| Brooklyn | ब्रुकलिन | ब्रुकलिन |
| Close | क्लोस | पास |
| Youngest | यंगेस्ट | सबसे छोटा |
| Sister | सिस्टर | बहन |
| Teaches | टीचेस | पढ़ाना |
| Pratt | प्रैट | प्रैट |
| Institute | इंस्टिट्यूट | संस्थान |
| Blocks | ब्लॉक्स | खंड |
| Street | स्ट्रीट | सड़क |
| Live | लिव | रहना |
Shahid ignored my reassurances. He began to laugh and it was then that I realised that he was dead serious. I understood that he was entrusting me with a quite specific charge: he wanted me to remember him not through the spoken recitatives of memory and friendship
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Reassurances | रीअशुरंसेस | सुविधाएं |
| Laugh | लाफ | हँसी |
| Realised | रीअलाईज़्ड | समझा |
| Dead | डेड | मरा हुआ |
| Serious | सीरियस | गंभीर |
| Understood | अंडरस्टूड | समझा |
| Entrusting | एंट्रस्टिंग | भरोसा देना |
| Specific | स्पेसिफिक | विशिष्ट |
| Charge | चार्ज | ज़िम्मेदारी |
| Wanted | वांटेड | चाहा |
| Remember | रिमेम्बर | याद रखना |
| Spoken | स्पोकन | बोली गई |
| Recitatives | रेसिटेटिव्स | गीत प्रयोग |
| Memory | मेमरी | स्मृति |
| Friendship | फ्रेंडशिप | दोस्ती |
but through the written word. Shahid knew all too well that for those writers for whom things become real only in the process of writing, there is an inbuilt resistance to dealing with loss and bereavement. He knew that my instincts would have led me to search for reasons to avoid writing about his death: I
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Written | रिटन | लिखित |
| Word | वर्ड | शब्द |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Writers | राइटर्स | लेखकों |
| Things | थिंग्स | चीज़ें |
| Process | प्रोसेस | प्रक्रिया |
| Writing | राइटिंग | लेखन |
| Resistance | रिसिस्टन्स | प्रतिरोध |
| Loss | लॉस | हानि |
| Bereavement | बेरीवमेंट | शोक |
| Instincts | इन्स्टिंक्ट्स | प्राकृतिक भावनाएं |
| Reasons | रीज़न्स | कारण |
| Avoid | अवॉइड | बचना |
| Writing | राइटिंग | लेखन |
| Death | डेथ | मौत |
would have told myself that I was not a poet; that our friendship was of recent date; that there wermany others who knew him much better and would be writing from greater understanding and knowledge. All this Shahid had guessed and he had decided to shut off those routes while there was still time.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | खुद |
| Poet | पोएट | कवि |
| Friendship | फ्रेंडशिप | मित्रता |
| Date | डेट | तारीख |
| Others | अदर्श | दूसरे |
| Him | हिम | उसे |
| Understanding | अंडरस्टैंडिंग | समझ |
| Knowledge | नॉलेज | ज्ञान |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Routes | रूट्स | मार्ग |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
you must write about me.’ Clear though it was that this imperative would have to be acknowledged, I could think of nothing to say: what are the words in which one promises a friend that one will write about him after his death? Finally, I said: ‘Shahid, I will: I’ll do the best I can
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Words | वर्ड्स | शब्द |
| Friend | फ्रेंड | दोस्त |
| Death | डेथ | मौत |
| Promise | प्रॉमिस | वादा |
| Write | राइट | लिखना |
| Best | बेस्ट | सर्वश्रेष्ठ |
| Can | कैन | कर सकते हैं |
By the end of the conversation I knew exactly what I had to do. I picked up my pen, noted the date, and wrote down everything I remembered of that conversation. This I continued to do for the next few months: it is this record that has made it possible for me to fulfil the pledge I made that day
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| End | एंड | अंत |
| Conversation | कॉन्वर्सेशन | बातचीत |
| Pen | पेन | कलम |
| Date | डेट | तारीख |
| Write | राइट | लिखना |
| Everything | एव्रीथिंग | सब कुछ |
| Remembered | रिमेम्बर्ड | याद रखा |
| Continued | कंटिन्यूड | जारी रखा |
| Next | नेक्स्ट | अगला |
| Months | मंथ्स | महीने |
| Record | रिकॉर्ड | रिकार्ड |
| Made | मेड | बनाया |
| Pledge | प्लेज | प्रतिज्ञा |
| Day | डे | दिन |
I knew Shahid’s work long before I met him. His 1997 collection, The Country Without a Post Office, had made a powerful impression on me. His voice was like none I had ever heard before, at once lyrical and fiercely disciplined, engaged and yet deeply inward. Not for him the mock-casual
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Work | वर्क | काम |
| Collection | कलेक्शन | संग्रह |
| Country | कंट्री | देश |
| Post Office | पोस्ट ऑफिस | डाकघर |
| Impression | इंप्रेशन | प्रभाव |
| Voice | वॉयस | आवाज़ |
| None | नन | कोई नहीं |
| Discipline | डिसिप्लिन | अनुशासन |
| Engagement | एंगेजमेंट | संलग्नता |
| Inward | इनवर्ड | आंतरिक |
| Mock-casual | मॉक-कैज़ुअल | नकली-आकस्मिक |
almost-prose of so much contemporary poetry: his was a voice that was not ashamed to speak in a bardic register1 . I knew of no one else who would even conceive of publishing a line like: ‘Mad heart, be brave.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Prose | प्रोज़ | गद्य |
| Contemporary | कंटेम्पोरेरी | समकालीन |
| Poetry | पोएट्री | काव्य |
| Voice | वॉयस | आवाज़ |
| Register | रेजिस्टर | रजिस्टर |
| Line | लाइन | पंक्ति |
| Heart | हार्ट | दिल |
| Brave | ब्रेव | साहसी |
in 1998, I quoted a line from The Country Without a Post Office in an article that touched briefly on Kashmir. At the time all I knew about Shahid was that he was from Srinagar and had studied in Delhi. I had been at Delhi University myself, but although our time there had briefly overlapped, we had never met. We had friends in common however, and one of them put me in touch with Shahid.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Article | आर्टिकल | लेख |
| Line | लाइन | पंक्ति |
| Kashmir | कश्मीर | कश्मीर |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| University | यूनिवर्सिटी | विश्वविद्यालय |
| Friends | फ्रेंड्स | दोस्त |
| Common | कॉमन | सामान्य |
| Touch | टच | स्पर्श |
| Briefly | ब्रिफली | संक्षेप में |
| Overlapped | ओवरलैप्ड | ओवरलैप हुआ |
| Met | मेट | मिला |
| Studied | स्टडीड | पढ़ा |
| Quoted | क्वोटेड | उद्धृत |
| Touched | टच्ड | छू लिया |
| Put | पुट | रखना |
| In | इन | में |
| I | आई | मैं |
| Knew | न्यू | जानता था |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | खुद को |
| Srinagar | श्रीनगर | श्रीनगर |
| Delhi | दिल्ली | दिल्ली |
| Had | हैड | था |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Article | आर्टिकल | लेख |
| Studied | स्टडीड | पढ़ा |
| Delhi | दिल्ली | दिल्ली |
| University | यूनिवर्सिटी | विश्वविद्यालय |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | खुद को |
| Overlapped | ओवरलैप्ड | ओवरलैप हुआ |
| Met | मेट | मिला |
| Put | पुट | रखना |
| Touch | टच | स्पर्श |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
In 1998 and 1999 we had several conversations on the phone and even met a couple of times. But we were no more than acquaintances until he moved to Brooklyn the next year. Once we were in the same neighbourhood, we began to meet for occasional meals and quickly discovered that we had a great deal in common.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Article | आर्टिकल | लेख |
| Line | लाइन | पंक्ति |
| Kashmir | कश्मीर | कश्मीर |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| University | यूनिवर्सिटी | विश्वविद्यालय |
| Friends | फ्रेंड्स | दोस्त |
| Common | कॉमन | सामान्य |
| Touch | टच | स्पर्श |
| Briefly | ब्रिफली | संक्षेप में |
| Overlapped | ओवरलैप्ड | ओवरलैप हुआ |
| Met | मेट | मिला |
| Studied | स्टडीड | पढ़ा |
| Quoted | क्वोटेड | उद्धृत |
| Touched | टच्ड | छू लिया |
| Put | पुट | रखना |
| In | इन | में |
| I | आई | मैं |
| Knew | न्यू | जानता था |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | खुद को |
| Srinagar | श्रीनगर | श्रीनगर |
| Delhi | दिल्ली | दिल्ली |
| Had | हैड | था |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Article | आर्टिकल | लेख |
| Studied | स्टडीड | पढ़ा |
| Delhi | दिल्ली | दिल्ली |
| University | यूनिवर्सिटी | विश्वविद्यालय |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | खुद को |
| Overlapped | ओवरलैप्ड | ओवरलैप हुआ |
| Met | मेट | मिला |
| Put | पुट | रखना |
| Touch | टच | स्पर्श |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
By this time of course Shahid’s condition was already serious, yet his illness did not impede the progress of our friendship. We found that we had a huge roster of common friends, in India, America”, “and elsewhere; we discovered a shared love of rogan josh, Roshanara Begum and Kishore Kumar; a mutual indifference to cricket and an equal attachment to old Bombay films. Because of Shahid’s condition even the most trivial exchanges had a special charge and u
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Course | कोर्स | पाठ्यक्रम |
| Condition | कंडीशन | स्थिति |
| Illness | इलनेस | बीमारी |
| Progress | प्रोग्रेस | प्रगति |
| Friendship | फ्रेंडशिप | मित्रता |
| Roster | रोस्टर | सूची |
| Friends | फ्रेंड्स | दोस्त |
| India | इंडिया | भारत |
| America | अमेरिका | अमेरिका |
| Elsewhere | एल्सवेयर | कहीं और |
| Love | लव | प्यार |
| Rogan Josh | रोगन जोश | रोगन जोश |
| Roshanara | रोशनारा | रोशनारा |
| Begum | बेगम | बेगम |
| Kishore Kumar | किशोर कुमार | किशोर कुमार |
| Indifference | इन्डिफ़रेंस | उदासीनता |
| Cricket | क्रिकेट | क्रिकेट |
| Attachment | अटैचमेंट | आसक्ति |
| Bombay | बॉम्बे | मुंबई |
| Films | फ़िल्म्स | फ़िल्में |
| Exchanges | एक्सचेंजेज | विनिमय |
| Special | स्पेशल | विशेष |
| Charge | चार्ज | दायित्व |
“the inescapable poignance of talking about food and half-forgotten figures from the past with a man who knew himself to be dying, was multiplied, in this instance, by the knowledge that this man was also a poet who had achieved greatness — perhaps the only such that I shall ever know as a friend.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Poignance | प्वाइनेंस | दुखदायित्व |
| Talking | टॉकिंग | बातचीत |
| Food | फ़ूड | भोजन |
| Figures | फ़िगर्स | आँकड़े |
| Past | पास्ट | भूतकाल |
| Man | मैन | आदमी |
| Knowledge | नॉलेज | ज्ञान |
| Poet | पोएट | कवि |
| Greatness | ग्रेटनेस | महानता |
| Friend | फ्रेंड | दोस्त |
One afternoon, the writer Suketu Mehta, who also lives in Brooklyn, joined us for lunch. Together we hatched a plan for an adda —by definition, a gathering that has no agenda, other than conviviality. Shahid was enthusiastic and
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Poignance | प्वाइनेंस | दुखदायित्व |
| Talking | टॉकिंग | बातचीत |
| Food | फ़ूड | भोजन |
| Figures | फ़िगर्स | आँकड़े |
| Past | पास्ट | भूतकाल |
| Man | मैन | आदमी |
| Knowledge | नॉलेज | ज्ञान |
| Poet | पोएट | कवि |
| Greatness | ग्रेटनेस | महानता |
| Friend | फ्रेंड | दोस्त |
we began to meet regularly. From time to time other writers would join us. On one occasion a crew arrived with a television camera. Shahid was not in the least bit put out: ‘I’m so shameless; I just love the camera.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Writers | राइटर्स | लेखक |
| Occasion | अकेशन | अवसर |
| Crew | क्रू | दल |
| Television | टेलिविजन | टेलीविजन |
| Camera | कैमरा | कैमरा |
| Bit | बिट | थोड़ा |
| Love | लव | प्यार |
| Shameless | शेमलेस | निर्लज्ज |
Shahid had a sorcerer’s ability to transmute the mundane into the magical. Once I accompanied Iqbal, his brother, and Hena, his sister, on a trip to fetch him home from hospital. Thiswas on 21 May: by that time he had already been through several unsuccessful operations. Now he was back in hospital to
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Sorcerer | सॉर्सरर | जादूगर |
| Ability | अबिलिटी | क्षमता |
| Mundane | मन्डेन | लौकिक |
| Magical | मैजिकल | जादुई |
| Iqbal | इकबाल | इकबाल |
| Brother | ब्रदर | भाई |
| Hena | हेना | हेना |
| Sister | सिस्टर | बहन |
| Trip | ट्रिप | यात्रा |
| Fetch | फेच | लाना |
| Home | होम | घर |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
| May | मे | मई |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Unsuccessful | अनसफल | असफल |
| Operations | ऑपरेशंस | ऑपरेशन |
| Back | बैक | वापस |
undergo a surgical procedure that was intended to relieve the pressure on his brain. His head was shaved and the shape of the tumour was visible upon his bare scalp, its edges outlined by metal sutures. When it was time to leave the ward a blue-uniformed hospital escort arrived with a wheelchair. Shahid waved him away, declaring that he was strong enough to walk out of the hospital on his own.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Surgical | सर्जिकल | सर्जिकल |
| Procedure | प्रोसेजर | प्रक्रिया |
| Pressure | प्रेशर | दबाव |
| Brain | ब्रेन | मस्तिष्क |
| Head | हेड | सिर |
| Tumour | ट्यूमर | गांठ |
| Visible | विजिबल | दिखाई देने वाला |
| Bare | बेयर | निर्मल |
| Scalp | स्कल्प | त्वचा |
| Edges | एजेस | किनारे |
| Outlined | आउटलाइंड | संकेत किया हुआ |
| Metal | मेटल | धातु |
| Sutures | सूचर्स | सिलाई |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Leave | लीव | छोड़ना |
| Ward | वार्ड | वार्ड |
| Blue-uniformed | ब्लू-यूनिफॉर्म्ड | नीले वर्दी पहने |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
| Escort | एस्कॉर्ट | सहायक |
| Wheelchair | व्हीलचेयर | व्हीलचेयर |
| Walk | वॉक | चलना |
| Strong | स्ट्रांग | मजबूत |
| Enough | इनोफ | पर्याप्त |
| Own | ओन | अपना |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
But he was groggier than he had thought and his knees buckled after no more than a few steps. Iqbal went running off to bring back the wheelchair while the rest of us stood in the corridor, holding him upright. At that moment, leaning against the cheerless hospital wall,
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Knees | नीज | घुटने |
| Steps | स्टेप्स | कदम |
| Running | रनिंग | दौड़ना |
| Wheelchair | व्हीलचेयर | व्हीलचेयर |
| Rest | रेस्ट | आराम |
| Corridor | कॉरिडोर | गलियारा |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
| Wall | वॉल | दीवार |
| Groggier | ग्रॉगियर | बेहोश |
| Thought | थॉट | सोचा |
| Buckled | बकल्ड | मुड़ गया |
| Bring | ब्रिंग | लाना |
| Upright | अपराइट | खड़ा |
| Leaning | लीनिंग | झुका हुआ |
| Cheerless | चीरलेस | उदास |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
| Wall | वॉल | दीवार |
a kind of rapture descended on Shahid. When the hospital orderly returned with the wheelchair Shahid gave him a beaming smile and asked where he was from. ‘Ecuador’, the man said, and Shahid clapped his hands gleefully together, ‘Spanish!’ he cried, at the top of his voice. ‘I always wanted to learn Spanish. Just to read Lorca2
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Rapture | रैप्चर | उत्साह |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
| Orderly | ऑर्डरली | सुव्यवस्थित |
| Wheelchair | व्हीलचेयर | व्हीलचेयर |
| Smile | स्माइल | मुस्कान |
| Ecuador | एक्वाडोर | एक्वाडोर |
| Hands | हैंड्स | हाथ |
| Gleefully | ग्लीफ़ुली | हर्षितता से |
| Spanish | स्पैनिश | स्पेनी |
| Voice | वॉइस | आवाज़ |
| Wanted | वांटेड | चाहिए |
| Learn | लर्न | सीखना |
| Read | रीड | पढ़ना |
| Lorca | लोर्का | लोर्का |
Shahid’s gregariousness had no limit: there was never an evening when there wasn’t a party in his living room. ‘I love it that so many people are here,’ he told me once. ‘I love it that people come and there’s always food. I love this spirit of festivity; it means that I don’t have time to be depressed.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Gregariousness | ग्रेगैरियसनेस | मिलनसारता |
| Limit | लिमिट | सीमा |
| Evening | इवनिंग | शाम |
| Party | पार्टी | पार्टी |
| Living room | लिविंग रूम | बैठक कक्ष |
| Love | लव | प्यार |
| People | पीपल्स | लोग |
| Food | फूड | भोजन |
| Spirit | स्पिरिट | आत्मा |
| Festivity | फेस्टिविटी | उत्सव |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Depressed | डीप्रेस्ड | उदास |
His apartment was a spacious and airy split-level, on the seventh floor of a newly-renovated building. There was a cavernous study on the top floor and a wide terrace that provided a magnificent view of the Manhattan skyline, across the East River. Shahid loved this view of the Brooklyn waterfront slipping, like a ghat, into the East River, under the glittering lights of Manhattan
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Gregariousness | ग्रेगैरियसनेस | मिलनसारता |
| Limit | लिमिट | सीमा |
| Evening | इवनिंग | शाम |
| Party | पार्टी | पार्टी |
| Living room | लिविंग रूम | बैठक कक्ष |
| Love | लव | प्यार |
| People | पीपल्स | लोग |
| Food | फूड | भोजन |
| Spirit | स्पिरिट | आत्मा |
| Festivity | फेस्टिविटी | उत्सव |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Depressed | डीप्रेस्ड | उदास |
The journey from the foyer of Shahid’s building to his door was a voyage between continents: on the way up the rich fragrance of rogan josh and haak would invade the dour, grey interior of the elevator; against the background of the songs and voices that were always echoing out of his apartment,
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Journey | जर्नी | यात्रा |
| Foyer | फॉयर | आँगन |
| Shahid’s | शाहिद्स | शाहिद का |
| Building | बिल्डिंग | इमारत |
| Door | डोर | द्वार |
| Voyage | वॉयेज | यात्रा |
| Continents | कॉन्टिनेंट्स | महाद्वीपों |
| Way | वे | रास्ता |
| Fragrance | फ्रेग्रन्स | सुगंध |
| Rogan josh | रोगन जोश | रोगन जोश |
| Haak | हाक | हाक |
| Interior | इंटीरियर | आंतरिक |
| Elevator | एलेवेटर | लिफ्ट |
| Background | बैकग्राउंड | पृष्ठभूमि |
| Songs | सांग्स | गाने |
| Voices | वॉयसेस | आवाज़ |
| Echoing | इकोइंग | गूंजन |
| Apartment | अपार्टमेंट | अपार्टमेंट |
even the ringing of the doorbell had an oddly musical sound. Suddenly, Shahid would appear, flinging open the door, releasing a great cloud of heeng into the frosty New York air, ‘Oh, how nice,’ he would cry, clapping his hands, ‘how nice that you’ve
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Ringing | रिंगिंग | घंटी बजना |
| Doorbell | डोरबेल | घंटी |
| Sound | साउंड | ध्वनि |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Door | डोर | द्वार |
| Cloud | क्लाउड | बादल |
| Heeng | हींग | हींग |
| Frosty | फ्रॉस्टी | ठंडी |
| New York | न्यू यॉर्क | न्यूयॉर्क |
| Air | एयर | हवा |
| Nice | नाइस | अच्छा |
| Cry | क्राइ | चिल्लाना |
| Clapping | क्लैपिंग | ताली बजाना |
| Hands | हैंड्स | हाथ |
| Nice | नाइस | अच्छा |
| You’ve | यूव | तुमने |
come to see your little Mos-lem!’ Invariably, there’d be some halfdozen or more people gathered inside —poets, students, writers, relatives —and in the kitchen someone would always be cooking or making tea. Almost to the very end, even as his life was being consumed by his disease, he was the centre of a perpetual carnival, an endless mela of talk, laughter, food and, of course, poetry.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Come | कम | आना |
| See | सी | देखना |
| Little | लिटल | छोटा |
| Mos-lem | मुसलेम | मुसलमान |
| People | पीपल | लोग |
| Inside | इंसाइड | अंदर |
| Poets | पोएट्स | कवियों |
| Students | स्टूडेंट्स | छात्र |
| Writers | राइटर्स | लेखकों |
| Relatives | रेलेटिव्स | रिश्तेदार |
| Kitchen | किचन | रसोई |
| Cooking | कुकिंग | पकाना |
| Making | मेकिंग | बनाना |
| Tea | टी | चाय |
| Very | वेरी | बहुत |
| End | एंड | अंत |
| Life | लाइफ | जीवन |
| Consumed | कन्स्यूम्ड | सेवन किया गया |
| Disease | डिजीज | बीमारी |
| Centre | सेंटर | केंद्र |
| Perpetual | पर्पेचुअल | सदैव |
| Carnival | कार्निवल | मेला |
| Endless | एंडलेस | अनंत |
| Mela | मेला | मेला |
| Talk | टॉक | बातचीत |
| Laughter | लाफ्टर | हँसी |
| Food | फूड | खाना |
| Poetry | पोएट्री | कविता |
No matter how many people there were, Shahid was never so distracted as to lose track of the progress of the evening’s meal. From time to time he would interrupt himself to shout directions to whoever was in the kitchen: ‘yes, now, add the dahi now.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| People | पीपल | लोग |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Progress | प्रोग्रेस | प्रगति |
| Evening | ईवनिंग | शाम |
| Meal | मील | भोजन |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Kitchen | किचन | रसोई |
| Directions | डायरेक्शन्स | निर्देश |
| Dahi | दही | दही |
| Now | नौ | अब |
| Add | ऐड | जोड़ना |
Even when his eyesight was failing, he could tell from the smell alone, exactly which stage the rogan josh had reached. And when things went exactly as they should, he would sniff the air and cry out loud: ‘Ah! Khana ka kya mehek hai!
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Eyesight | आईसाइट | दृष्टि |
| Smell | स्मेल | गंध |
| Stage | स्टेज | मंच |
| Rogan Josh | रोगन जोश | रोगन जोश |
| Reached | रीच्ड | पहुंचा |
| Things | थिंग्स | चीज़ें |
| Went | वेंट | गया |
| Sniff | स्निफ | सूंघना |
| Air | एयर | हवा |
| Cry | क्राई | चिल्लाना |
| Ah | आह | आह |
| Khana | खाना | भोजन |
| Kya | क्या | क्या |
| Mehek | महेक | महक |
| Hai | है | है |
Shahid was legendary for his prowess in the kitchen, frequently spending days over the planning and preparation of a dinner party. It was through one such party, given while he was in Arizona, that he met James Merrill, the poet who was to radically alter the direction of his poetry:
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Prowess | प्रावेश | प्रतिभा |
| Kitchen | किचन | रसोई |
| Days | डेज़ | दिन |
| Planning | प्लानिंग | योजना |
| Preparation | प्रिपरेशन | तैयारी |
| Dinner | डिनर | रात का भोजन |
| Party | पार्टी | पार्टी |
| Arizona | अरिज़ोना | अरिज़ोना |
| Met | मेट | मिला |
| James | जेम्स | जेम्स |
| Merrill | मेरिल | मेरिल |
| Poet | कवि | कवि |
| Radically | रेडिकली | बहुत ही |
| Alter | आल्टर | परिवर्तन करना |
| Direction | डायरेक्शन | दिशा |
| Poetry | पोएट्री | कविता |
it was after this encounter that he began to experiment with strict, metrical patterns and verse forms. No one had a greater influence on Shahid’s poetry than James Merrill: indeed, in the poem in which he most explicitly prefigured his own death, ‘I Dream I Am At the Ghat of the Only World,’ he awarded the envoy to Merrill: ‘SHAHID, HUSH.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Encounter | इंकाउंटर | मुठभेड़ |
| Experiment | एक्स्पेरिमेंट | प्रयोग |
| Strict | स्ट्रिक्ट | कठोर |
| Metrical | मेट्रिकल | मापयुक्त |
| Patterns | पैटर्न्स | पैटर्न्स |
| Verse | वर्स | पद |
| Forms | फॉर्म्स | रूप |
| Influence | इंफ्लुअन्स | प्रभाव |
| Poetry | पोएट्री | कविता |
| James | जेम्स | जेम्स |
| Merrill | मेरिल | मेरिल |
| Prefigured | प्रीफिगर्ड | पूर्वाभास करना |
| Death | डेथ | मौत |
| Dream | ड्रीम | सपना |
| Ghat | घाट | घाट |
| World | वर्ल्ड | दुनिया |
| Awarded | अवार्डेड | पुरस्कारित किया |
| Envoy | एन्वॉय | प्रतिनिधि |
| Hush | हश | चुप |
THIS IS ME, JAMES. THE LOVED ONE ALWAYS LEAVES.’ Shahid placed great store on authenticity and exactitude in cooking and would tolerate no deviation from traditional methods and recipes: for those who took short cuts, he had only pity. He had a special passion for the food of his region, one variant of it in particular: ‘Kashmiri food in the Pandit style’.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Store | स्टोर | दुकान |
| Authenticity | ऑथेंटिसिटी | मूल्यांकन |
| Exactitude | एक्जैक्टिट्यूड | सटीकता |
| Cooking | कुकिंग | पकाना |
| Deviation | डेविएशन | विचलन |
| Methods | मेथड्स | तरीके |
| Recipes | रेसिपीज | व्यंजन |
| Short cuts | शॉर्ट कट्स | छोटे रास्ते |
| Pity | पिटी | दया |
| Passion | पैशन | प्रेम |
| Food | फ़ूड | खाद्य |
| Region | रीज़न | क्षेत्र |
| Variant | वेरिएंट | परिवर्तनीय |
| Kashmiri | काश्मीरी | कश्मीरी |
| Pandit | पंडित | पंडित |
| Style | स्टाइल | शैली |
I asked him once why this was so important to him and he explained that it was because of a recurrent dream, in which all the Pandits had vanished from the valley of Kashmir and their food had become extinct. This was a nightmare that haunted him and he returned to it again and again, in his conversation and his poetry. At a certain point I lost track of you.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Dream | सपना | ख्वाब |
| Pandits | पंडित | पंडित |
| Valley | वैली | घाटी |
| Kashmir | कश्मीर | कश्मीर |
| Food | फ़ूड | खाद्य |
| Nightmare | नाईटमेर | डरावना सपना |
| Conversation | कॉन्वर्सेशन | वार्तालाप |
| Poetry | कविता | काव्य |
| Point | पॉइंट | बिंदु |
| Track | ट्रैक | पथ |
You needed me. You needed to perfect me: In your absence you polished me into the Enemy. Your history gets in the way of my memory. I am everything you lost. Your perfect enemy. Your memory gets in the way of my memory . . . There is nothing to forgive.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Absence | अब्सेंस | अनुपस्थिति |
| Enemy | एनिमी | शत्रु |
| History | हिस्ट्री | इतिहास |
| Memory | मेमोरी | स्मृति |
| Perfect | परफेक्ट | पूर्ण |
| Forgive | फ़ॉर्गिव | माफ़ करना |
| Way | वे | रास्ता |
| Nothing | नथिंग | कुछ नहीं |
You won’t forgive me. I hid my pain even from myself; I revealed my pain only to myself. There is nothing to forgive. You won’t forgive me. If only somehow you could have been mine, what would not have been possiblehe world?
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Pain | पेन | दर्द |
| Myself | मायसेल्फ | अपने आप |
| Nothing | नथिंग | कुछ नहीं |
| Forgive | फ़ॉर्गिव | माफ़ करना |
| World | वर्ल्ड | दुनिया |
| Possible | पॉसिबल | संभव |
| Mine | माइन | मेरा |
Once, in conversation, he told me that he also loved Bengali food. I protested, ‘But Shahid, you’ve never even been to Calcutta3 ’. ‘No,’ he said. ‘But we had friends who used to bring us that food. When ‘”you ate it you could see that there were so many things that you didn’t know about, everywhere in the country…’ What I say is: why can’t you be happy with the cuisines and the clothes and the music and all these wonderful things?’ He paused and added softly
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Conversation | कॉन्वर्सेशन | वार्तालाप |
| Love | लव | प्यार |
| Food | फूड | खाना |
| Protest | प्रोटेस्ट | प्रोत्साहन |
| Calcutta | कलकत्ता | कोलकाता |
| Friend | फ्रेंड | दोस्त |
| Bring | ब्रिंग | लाना |
| See | सी | देखना |
| Know | नो | जानना |
| Country | कंट्री | देश |
| Happy | हैप्पी | खुश |
| Cuisine | क्वीज़ीन | खानपान |
| Cloth | क्लॉथ | कपड़ा |
| Music | म्यूजिक | संगीत |
| Wonderful | वंडरफुल | अद्भुत |
| Pause | पॉज | ठहरना |
| Add | ऐड | जोड़ना |
| Softly | सॉफ्टली | मुलायमता से |
At least here we have been able to make a space where we can all come together because of the good things.’ Of the many ‘good things’ in which he took pleasure, none was more dear to him than the music of Begum Akhtar. He had met the great ghazal singer when he was in his teens, through a friend, and she had become an abiding presence and influence in his life.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Space | स्पेस | जगह |
| Good | गुड | अच्छा |
| Pleasure | प्लेशर | आनंद |
| Music | म्यूज़िक | संगीत |
| Singer | सिंगर | गायक |
| Teen | टीन | किशोर |
| Friend | फ्रेंड | दोस्त |
| Abiding | अबाइडिंग | दृढ़ |
| Presence | प्रेज़न्स | मौजूदगी |
| Influence | इन्फ़्लुएंस | प्रभाव |
| Life | लाइफ | जीवन |
Shahid had a fund of stories about her sharpness in repartee. Shahid was himself no mean practitioner of repartee. On one famous occasion, at Barcelona airport, he was stopped by a security guard just as he was about to board a plane. The guard, a woman, asked: ‘What do you do?’ ‘I’m a poet,’ Shahid answered. ‘What were you doing in Spain?’ ‘Writing poetry.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Fund | फंड | निधि |
| Stories | स्टोरीज़ | कहानियाँ |
| Sharpness | शार्पनेस | तेज़ी |
| Repartee | रिपार्टी | तर्कबद्धता |
| Practitioner | प्रैक्टिशनर | व्यावसायिक |
| Occasion | ओकेशन | अवसर |
| Barcelona | बार्सिलोना | बार्सिलोना |
| Airport | एयरपोर्ट | हवाई अड्डा |
| Security | सिक्योरिटी | सुरक्षा |
| Guard | गार्ड | गार्ड |
| Woman | वुमेन | महिला |
| Poet | कवि | कवि |
| Spain | स्पेन | स्पेन |
| Writing | राइटिंग | लेखन |
| Poetry | पोएट्री | कविता |
No matter what the question, Shahid worked poetry into his answer. Finally, the exasperated woman asked: ‘Are you carrying anything that could be dangerous to the other passengers?’ At this Shahid clapped a hand to his chest and cried: ‘Only my heart.’
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Matter | मैटर | मामला |
| Question | क्वेश्चन | सवाल |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| Poetry | पोएट्री | कविता |
| Answer | आंसर | जवाब |
| Exasperated | इग्ज़ास्पेरेटेड | परेशान |
| Woman | वुमेन | महिला |
| Carrying | कैरीइंग | ले रहा/रही/रहे |
| Dangerous | डेंजरस | खतरनाक |
| Passengers | पैसेंजर्स | यात्रियों |
| Clapped | क्लैप्ट | ताली मारी |
| Hand | हैंड | हाथ |
| Cried | क्राइड | चिल्लाया |
| Heart | हार्ट | दिल |
This was one of his great Wildean moments, and it was to occasion the poem ‘Barcelona Airport’. He treasured these moments: ‘I long for people to give me an opportunity to answer questions’, he told me once. On 7 May I had the good fortune to be with him when one such opportunity presented itself. Shahid
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Moments | मोमेंट्स | पल |
| Occasion | ओकेशन | अवसर |
| Poem | पोएम | कविता |
| Treasured | ट्रेज़र्ड | महत्व दिया |
| Long | लांग | खुदा |
| People | पीपल | लोग |
| Opportunity | ऑपर्च्युनिटी | मौका |
| Answer | आंसर | जवाब |
| Good fortune | गुड फॉर्च्यून | अच्छा भाग्य |
| Presented | प्रेजेंटेड | प्रस्तुत |
was teaching at Manhattan’s Baruch College in the Spring semester of 2000 and this was to be his last class — indeed the last he was ever to teach. The class was to be a short one for he had an appointment at the hospital immediately afterwards. I had heard a great deal about the brilliance of Shahid’s teaching, but this was the
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Teaching | टीचिंग | शिक्षण |
| Manhattan | मैनहट्टन | मैनहट्टन (शहर का नाम) |
| Baruch | बैरच | बैरच (कॉलेज का नाम) |
| College | कॉलेज | कॉलेज |
| Spring | स्प्रिंग | वसंत |
| Semester | सेमेस्टर | सेमेस्टर |
| Last | लास्ट | अंतिम |
| Class | क्लास | कक्षा |
| Appointment | अपॉइंटमेंट | समय नियुक्ति |
| Hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल |
| Immediately | इमीडिएटली | तत्काल |
| Afterwards | अफ्टरवर्ड्स | इसके बाद |
| Heard | हर्ड | सुना |
| Brilliance | ब्रिलियन्स | प्रतिभा |
first and only time that I was to see him perform in a classroom. It was evident from the moment we walked in that the students adored him: they had printed a magazine and dedicated the issue to him. Shahid for his part was not in the least subdued by the sadness of the occasion.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Perform | परफॉर्म | प्रदर्शन करना |
| Classroom | क्लासरूम | कक्षा कमरा |
| Moment | मोमेंट | पल |
| Students | स्टूडेंट्स | छात्र |
| Magazine | मैगजीन | पत्रिका |
| Issue | इश्यू | मुद्दा |
| Part | पार्ट | हिस्सा |
| Subdued | सबड्यूड | नियंत्रित |
| Sadness | सैडनेस | दुःख |
| Occasion | ऑकेशन | अवसर |
From beginning to end, he was a sparkling diva, Akhtar incarnate, brimming with laughter and nakhra. When an Indian student walked in late he greeted her with the cry; ‘Ah my little subcontinental has arrived.’ Clasping his hands, he feigned a swoon. ‘It stirs such a tide of patriotism in me to behold another South Asian.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Beginning | बिगिनिंग | आरंभ |
| End | एंड | अंत |
| Diva | डिवा | दिवा |
| Akhtar | अख्तर | अख्तर (एक नाम) |
| Laughter | लाफ्टर | हंसी |
| Nakhra | नखरा | नखरा |
| Student | स्टूडेंट | छात्र |
| Cry | क्राई | चिल्लाहट |
| Little | लिटिल | छोटा |
| Subcontinental | सबकोंटिनेंटल | उपमहाद्वीपीय |
| Arrived | अराइव्ड | पहुंचा |
| Hands | हैंड्स | हाथ |
| Feigned | फेन्ड | बनावटी |
| Swoon | स्वून | बेहोशी |
| Stirs | स्टर्स | उत्तेजित होता है |
| Tide | टाइड | ज्वार |
| Patriotism | पेट्रिओटिज़म | देशभक्ति |
| South Asian | साउथ एशियन | दक्षिण एशियाई |
His time at Penn State he remembered with unmitigated pleasure: ‘I grew as a reader, I grew as a poet, I grew as a lover.’ He fell in with a vibrant group of graduate students, many of whom were Indian. This was, he often said, the happiest time of his life.
| Word | Pronunciation (Hindi) | Hindi Meaning |
| Time | टाइम | समय |
| Penn State | पेन स्टेट | पेन स्टेट (एक विश्वविद्यालय) |
| Pleasure | प्लेज़र | आनंद, सुख |
| Reader | रीडर | पाठक |
| Poet | पोएट | कवि |
| Lover | लवर | प्रेमी |
| Group | ग्रुप | समूह |
| Graduate | ग्रैजुएट | स्नातकोत्तर |
| Students | स्टूडेंट्स | छात्र |
| Indian | इंडियन | भारतीय |
| Happiest | हैपिस्ट | सबसे खुश |
| Life | लाइफ | जीवन |
Later Shahid moved to Arizona to take a degree in creative writing. This in turn was followed by a series of jobs in colleges and universities: Hamilton College, the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and finally, the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, where he was appointed professor in 1999. He was on leave from Utah, doing a brief stint at New York University,
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| Later | लेटर | बाद में, बाद की बात |
| Shahid | शाहिद | नाम |
| moved | मूव्ड | घुमा, भाग गया |
| Arizona | अराइज़ोना | एरीज़ोना (राज्य का नाम) |
| degree | डिग्री | डिग्री, पदक, गुणतात्मक माप |
| creative | क्रिएटिव | रचनात्मक, सृजनात्मक |
| writing | राइटिंग | लेखन, लेख, लिखावट |
| turn | टर्न | मोड़, बदल |
| followed | फालोव्ड | पीछे आना, अनुसरण करना |
| series | सीरीज़ | श्रृंगार, क्रम |
| jobs | जॉब्स | काम, नौकरी |
| colleges | कॉलेजेस | कॉलेज |
| universities | यूनिवर्सिटीज़ | विश्वविद्यालय |
| Hamilton | हैमिल्टन | हैमिल्टन (कॉलेज का नाम) |
| Massachusetts | मैसाचुसेट्स | मसाचुसेट्स (राज्य का नाम) |
| Amherst | ऐम्हर्स्ट | ऐम्हर्स्ट (शहर का नाम) |
| finally | फाइनली | अंततः, आखिरकार |
| Utah | यूटाह | यूटाह (राज्य का नाम) |
| Salt Lake City | साल्ट लेक सिटी | साल्ट लेक सिटी (शहर का नाम) |
| appointed | एपॉइंटेड | नियुक्त किया गया |
| professor | प्रोफेसर | प्रोफेसर |
| leave | लीव | अवकाश, छुट्टी |
| doing | डूइंग | करता हुआ, कर रहा होना |
| brief | ब्रीफ | संक्षेप, संक्षेप में |
| stint | स्टिंट | समयांतर, कार्यकाल |
| New York | न्यू यॉर्क | न्यू यॉर्क (नगर का नाम) |
| University | यूनिवर्सिटी | विश्वविद्यालय |
when he had his first blackout in February 2000. After 1975, when he moved to Pennsylvania, Shahid lived mainly in America. His brother was already there and they were later joined by their two sisters. But Shahid’s parents continued to live in Srinagar and it was his custom to spend the summer months with them there every year: ‘I always move in my heart between sad countries.
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| blackout | ब्लैकआउट | बिजली की ग़ई, विक्षेप |
| February | फ़रवरी | फ़रवरी (महीने का नाम) |
| moved | मूव्ड | घुमा, भाग गया |
| Pennsylvania | पेन्सिल्वेनिया | पेन्सिल्वेनिया (राज्य का नाम) |
| lived | लिव्ड | रहता था, बसना |
| mainly | मेनली | मुख्यतः, प्रमुखतः |
| America | अमेरिका | अमेरिका (देश का नाम) |
| brother | भ्रदर | भाई |
| already | आल्रेडी | पहले ही |
| joined | जॉइंड | शामिल हुआ, जुड़ गया |
| two | टू | दो |
| sisters | सिस्टर्स | बहनें |
| parents | पेरेंट्स | माता-पिता |
| continued | कंटिन्यूड | जारी रखा, चलता रहा |
| live | लाइव | रहना, जीना |
| Srinagar | श्रीनगर | श्रीनगर (शहर का नाम) |
| custom | कस्टम | रीति-रिवाज, आदत |
| spend | स्पेंड | बिताना, खर्च करना |
| summer | समर | ग्रीष्मकाल |
| months | मंथ्स | महीने |
| heart | हार्ट | दिल |
| sad | सैड | उदास, दुखी |
| countries | कंट्रीज़ | देश, देशों |
Travelling between the United States and India he was thus an intermittent but first-hand witness (sháhid) to the mounting violence that seized the region from the late 1980s onwards: It was ’89, the stones were not far, signs of change everywhere (Kashmir would soon be in literal flames)… The steady deterioration of the political situation in Kashmir — the violence and counter-violence —had a powerful effect on him. In time it became one of the central subjects of
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| Travelling | ट्रैवलिंग | यात्रा, सफ़र |
| United | यूनाइटेड | संयुक्त |
| States | स्टेट्स | राज्य |
| India | इंडिया | भारत |
| intermittent | इंटर्मिटेंट | अंतरालिक |
| witness | विटनेस | साक्षी, गवाही |
| mounting | माउंटिंग | बढ़ती हुई |
| violence | वायलेंस | हिंसा, उग्रता |
| seized | सीज्ड | कब्ज़ा कर लिया, पकड़ लिया |
| region | रीज़न | क्षेत्र |
| late | लेट | देर, मुद्दत |
| stones | स्टोंज | पत्थर |
| far | फ़ार | दूर |
| signs | साइंस | संकेत, चिन्ह |
| change | चेंज | परिवर्तन, बदलाव |
| everywhere | एव्रिव्हेयर | हर जगह |
| Kashmir | काश्मीर | काश्मीर (क्षेत्र का नाम) |
| soon | सून | जल्दी ही |
| literal | लिटरल | शाब्दिक |
| flames | फ़्लेम्स | आग, ज्वाला |
| steady | स्टेडी | स्थिर, नियमित |
| deterioration | डिटीरियोरेशन | गिरावट, दुर्बलीकरण |
| political | पॉलिटिकल | राजनीतिक |
| situation | सिचुएशन | परिस्थिति |
| counter-violence | काउंटर-वायलेंस | प्रतिहिंसा |
| powerful | पॉवरफुल | शक्तिशाली |
| effect | इफ़ेक्ट | प्रभाव, असर |
| central | सेंट्रल | केंद्रीय, मुख्य |
| subjects | सब्जेक्ट्स | विषय, विषयों |
his work: indeed, it could be said that it was in writing of Kashmir that he created his finest work. The irony of this is that Shahid was not by inclination a political poet. I heard him say once: ‘If you are from a difficult place and that’s all you have to write about then you should stop writing
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| work | वर्क | काम, कर्म |
| indeed | इंडीड | सचमुच, वास्तव में |
| said | सेड | कहा, कहते हैं |
| writing | राइटिंग | लेखन, लेख, लिखावट |
| Kashmir | काश्मीर | काश्मीर (क्षेत्र का नाम) |
| created | क्रिएटेड | बनाया, रचा |
| finest | फ़ाइनेस्ट | सर्वश्रेष्ठ |
| irony | आइरनी | व्यंग्य, विडंबन |
| inclination | इंक्लिनेशन | इच्छा, प्रवृत्ति |
| political | पॉलिटिकल | राजनीतिक |
| poet | पोएट | कवि, शायर |
| heard | हर्ड | सुना, सुनते हैं |
| difficult | डिफ़िकल्ट | कठिन, मुश्किल |
| place | प्लेस | स्थान |
| stop | स्टॉप | रोकना, बंद करना |
You have to respect your art, your form — that is just as important as what you write about.’ Anguished as he was about Kashmir’s destiny, Shahid resolutely refused to embrace the role of victim that could so easily have been his. Had he done so, he could no doubt have easily become a fixture on talk shows and news programmes.
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| respect | रिस्पेक्ट | सम्मान |
| art | आर्ट | कला |
| form | फॉर्म | रूप |
| important | इंपोर्टेंट | महत्वपूर्ण |
| write | राइट | लिखना |
| about | अबाउट | के बारे में |
| anguished | ऐंग्विश्ड | दुखी |
| Kashmir’s | कश्मीर्स | कश्मीर का |
| destiny | डेस्टिनी | भाग्य |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| resolutely | रेज़लूट्ली | दृढ़ता से |
| refused | रिफ़्यूज़्ड | इनकार किया |
| embrace | एंब्रेस | गले लगाना |
| role | रोल | भूमिका |
| victim | विक्टिम | पीड़ित |
| easily | ईज़िली | आसानी से |
| fixture | फिक्सचर | स्थिरता |
| talk | टॉक | बातचीत |
| shows | शोज़ | दिखावट |
| news | न्यूज़ | समाचार |
| programmes | प्रोग्राम्स | कार्यक्रम |
But Shahid never had any doubt about his calling: he was a poet, schooled in the fierce and unforgiving art of language. Although respectful of religion, he remained a firm believer in the separation of politics and religious practice.
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| doubt | डाउट | संदेह |
| calling | कॉलिंग | बुलावा, व्यवसाय |
| poet | पोएट | कवि, शायर |
| schooled | स्कूल्ड | शिक्षित |
| fierce | फ़ियर्स | क्रूर, तेज़ |
| unforgiving | अन्फ़ॉर्गिविंग | क्षमाशील न होनेवाला, कठोर |
| art | आर्ट | कला |
| language | लैंग्वेज | भाषा |
| respectful | रिस्पेक्टफ़ुल | सम्मानपूर्ण |
| religion | रिलीज़न | धर्म |
| remained | रिमेन्ड | बने रहे, रह गया |
| firm | फर्म | दृढ़, पक्का |
| believer | बिलीवर | विश्वासी |
| separation | सेपरेशन | अलगाव, विभाजन |
| politics | पॉलिटिक्स | राजनीति |
| religious | रिलीज़ियस | धार्मिक |
| practice | प्रैक्टिस | अभ्यास |
Shahid’s gaze was not political in the sense of being framed in terms of policy and solutions. In the broadest sense, his vision tended always towards the inclusive and ecumenical4 , an outlook that he credited to his upbringing. He spoke often of a time in his childhood when he had been seized by the desire to create a small Hindu temple in his room in Srinagar
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| gaze | गेज़ | निहार, देखना |
| political | पॉलिटिकल | राजनीतिक |
| framed | फ़्रेम्ड | ढांचे में बंधा हुआ |
| terms | टर्म्स | शब्द, मापदंड |
| policy | पॉलिसी | नीति, योजना |
| solutions | सोल्यूशंस | समाधान, हल |
| broadest | ब्रोडेस्ट | सबसे व्यापक |
| sense | सेंस | अर्थ, महसूस |
| vision | विज़न | दृष्टि, कल्पना |
| tended | टेंडेड | रुझान होना, प्रवृत्त होना |
| always | आलवेज़ | हमेशा |
| towards | टॉवर्ड्स | की ओर, के प्रति |
| inclusive | इंक्लूसिव | समावेशी, सर्वांगी |
| ecumenical | एक्यूमेनिकल | सर्वसम्मति वाला, सर्वधर्मी |
| outlook | आउटलुक | दृष्टिकोण, नजरिया |
| credited | क्रेडिटेड | श्रेय दिया, स्वीकार किया |
| upbringing | अपब्रिंगिंग | पालन-पोषण, परवरिश |
| spoke | स्पोक | बोले, बोलते थे |
| often | ऑफ़न | अक्सर, अधिकांश बार |
| childhood | चाइल्डहुड | बचपन |
| seized | सीज़ | कब्ज़ा कर लिया, पकड़ लिया |
| desire | डिज़ायर | इच्छा, ख्वाहिश |
| create | क्रीएट | बनाना, रचना करना |
| small | स्मॉल | छोटा, सूक्ष्म |
| Hindu | हिंदू | हिन्दू (धर्म का नाम) |
| temple | टेम्पल | मंदिर |
| room | रूम | कक्षा, कमरा |
| Srinagar | स्रीनगर | श्रीनगर (कश्मीर की राजधानी) |
He was initially hesitant to tell his parents, but when he did they responded with an enthusiasm equal to his own. His mother bought him murtis and other accoutrements5 and for a while he was assiduous6 in conducting pujas at this shrine. This was a favourite story
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| hesitant | हेजिटेंट | संकोची, अनिश्चित |
| tell | टेल | कहना, बताना |
| parents | पेरेंट्स | माता-पिता, अभिभावक |
| responded | रिस्पोंडेड | प्रतिक्रिया दी, जवाब दिया |
| enthusiasm | एन्थूज़ियसम | उत्साह, जोश |
| equal | इक्वल | बराबर, समान |
| mother | मदर | माँ |
| bought | बॉट | खरीदा, लिया |
| murtis | मुर्तिस | मूर्तियाँ |
| accoutrements | अकूट्रेमेंट्स | सामग्री, सजावट |
| assiduous | असीड्यूअस | मेहनती, परिश्रमी |
| conducting | कंडक्टिंग | आयोजन, चलाना |
| pujas | पूजा | पूजा, अर्चना |
| shrine | श्राइन | मंदिर, स्थानीय देवता का स्थान |
| favourite | फ़ेवरिट | पसंदीदा, मनपसंद |
| story | स्टोरी | कहानी, किस्सा |
‘Whenever people talk to me about Muslim fanaticism,’ he said to me once, ‘ I tell them how my mother helped me make a temple in my room.’ I once remarked to Shahid that he was the closest that Kashmir had to a national poet. He shot back:
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| people | पीपल | लोग, जनता |
| talk | टॉक | बातचीत, बोलना |
| Muslim | मुस्लिम | मुस्लिम |
| fanaticism | फ़ेनैटिसिज़म | उन्माद, अतिशयता |
| said | सेड | कहा, बोले |
| me | मी | मुझे |
| once | वन्स | एक बार |
| tell | टेल | बताना, कहना |
| mother | मदर | माँ |
| helped | हेल्प्ड | मदद की, सहायता की |
| make | मेक | बनाना, तैयार करना |
| temple | टेम्पल | मंदिर |
| room | रूम | कक्षा, कमरा |
| remarked | रिमार्क्ड | टिप्पणी की, कहा |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद (नाम) |
| closest | क्लोसेस्ट | सबसे करीबी |
| Kashmir | कैश्मीर | कश्मीर (एक प्रदेश) |
| national | नैशनल | राष्ट्रीय |
| poet | पोएट | कवि, शायर |
| shot | शॉट | उठाया, बोला |
| back | बैक | वापस |
‘A national poet, maybe. But not a nationalist poet; please not that.’ In the title poem of The Country Without a Post Office, a poet returns to Kashmir to find the keeper of a fallen minaret: ‘Nothing will remain, everything’s finished,’ I see his voice again: ‘This is a shrine of words. You’ll find your letters to me. And mine to you. Come son and tear open these vanished envelopes’…
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| national | नैशनल | राष्ट्रीय |
| poet | पोएट | कवि, शायर |
| nationalist | नैशनलिस्ट | राष्ट्रवादी |
| please | प्लीज | कृपया, मेहरबानी |
| title | टाइटल | शीर्षक |
| poem | पोएम | कविता, रचना |
| country | कंट्री | देश, देशभक्ति |
| without | विदाउट | बिना, बिना के |
| post | पोस्ट | डाक, डाक घर |
| office | ऑफ़िस | कार्यालय, दफ़्तर |
| returns | रिटर्न्स | वापस आता है |
| Kashmir | कैश्मीर | कश्मीर (एक प्रदेश) |
| find | फ़ाइंड | ढूँढ़ना, पाना |
| keeper | कीपर | रखवाला, संरक्षक |
| fallen | फ़ॉलन | गिरा हुआ, पतित |
| minaret | मिनारेट | मीनार (मस्जिद की ऊंची चोटी) |
| nothing | नथिंग | कुछ नहीं, शून्य |
| remain | रिमेन | बचना, रहना |
| everything | एव्रीथिंग | हर चीज़ |
| finished | फ़िनिश्ड | समाप्त, पूर्ण |
| see | सी | देखना, समझना |
| voice | वॉइस | आवाज़ |
| shrine | श्राइन | मंदिर, स्थानीय देवता का स्थान |
| words | वर्ड्स | शब्द, बोल |
| letters | लेटर्स | पत्र, अक्षर |
| come | कम | आना, आओ |
| son | सन | बेटा, पुत्र |
| tear | टेयर | चीड़ना, फाड़ना |
| open | ओपन | खोलना, खुला |
| vanished | वैनिश्ड | गायब हो गया |
| envelopes | एनवलोप्स | लिफ़ाफ़ा, छुट्टी चिट्ठी |
This is an archive. I’ve found the remains of his voice, that map of longings with no limit. In this figuring of his homeland, he himself became one of the images that were spinning around the dark point of stillness — both Sháhid and Shahid, witness and martyr—
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| archive | आर्काइव | संग्रहालय, रेकॉर्ड संग्रह |
| found | फ़ाउंड | पाया, मिला |
| remains | रिमेन्स | अवशेष, बचे हुए अंश |
| voice | वॉइस | आवाज़ |
| map | मैप | नक्शा, मानचित्र |
| longings | लॉनग्स | आकांक्षा, इच्छा |
| limit | लिमिट | सीमा, मर्यादा |
| homeland | होमलैंड | मातृभूमि, देश |
| became | बिकेम | बन गया, हुआ |
| images | इमेजेज़ | छवि, तस्वीर |
| spinning | स्पिनिंग | घूमना, घूमते रहना |
| dark | डार्क | अंधेरा, काला |
| point | पॉइंट | बिंदु, बिन्दु बिंदु |
| stillness | स्टिलनेस | शांति, निर्मलता |
| witness | विटनेस | साक्षी, गवाह |
| martyr | मार्टर | शहीद, बलिदानी |
his destiny inextricably linked with Kashmir’s, each prefigured by the other. I will die, in autumn, in Kashmir, and the shadowed routine of each vein will almost be news, the blood censored, for the Saffron Sun and the Times of Rain..
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| destiny | डेस्टिनी | भाग्य, नसीब |
| linked | लिंक्ड | जुड़ा हुआ, संबंधित |
| prefigured | प्रीफ़िगर्ड | पूर्वसूचित, संकेत करना |
| die | डाई | मरना, मृत्यु होना |
| autumn | ऑटम | सर्दी, शरद ऋतु |
| shadowed | शैडोड | छायामय, अन्धकारमय |
| routine | रूटीन | नियमित व्यवस्था, दिनचर्या |
| vein | वेन | नस, धमनी |
| news | न्यूज़ | समाचार, ख़बरें |
| blood | ब्लड | रक्त, खून |
| censored | सेंसर्ड | संशोधित, संपादित |
| Saffron | सैफ़्रन | केसर, कश्मीरी लाल रंग |
| Sun | सन | सूरज, रवि |
| Times | टाइम्स | समय, समयोग, समयांतर |
| Rain | रेन | बारिश, वर्षा |
Among my notes is a record of a telephone conversation on 5 May. The day before he had gone to the hospital for an important test: a scan that was expected to reveal whether or not the course of chemotherapy that he was then undergoing had had the desired effect
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| notes | नोट्स | नोट, टिप्पणी |
| record | रेकॉर्ड | रिकॉर्ड, दस्तावेज़ |
| telephone | टेलीफ़ोन | टेलीफ़ोन, दूरभाष |
| conversation | कॉन्वर्सेशन | बातचीत, वार्तालाप |
| day | डे | दिन, दिनांक |
| hospital | हॉस्पिटल | अस्पताल, चिकित्सालय |
| important | इम्पोर्टेंट | महत्वपूर्ण, प्रमुख |
| test | टेस्ट | परीक्षा, जांच |
| scan | स्कैन | स्कैन, छाप लेना |
| reveal | रिवील | प्रकट करना, खोलना |
| course | कोर्स | पाठ्यक्रम, मार्ग |
| chemotherapy | केमोथेरेपी | कीमोथेरेपी, रोगाणुशास्त्री उपचार |
| undergoing | अंडरगोइंग | हो रहा होना, अनुभव करना |
| desired | डिज़ायर्ड | इच्छित, चाहिए |
| effect | इफ़ेक्ट | प्रभाव, परिणाम |
All other alternative therapies and courses of treatment had been put off until this report. The scan was scheduled for 2.30 in the afternoon. I called his number several times in the late afternoon and early evening —there was no response. I called again the next morning and this time he answered. There were no preambles. He said,
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| therapies | थेरेपीज़ | चिकित्सा, उपचार |
| courses | कोर्सेज़ | पाठ्यक्रम, पढ़ाई |
| treatment | ट्रीटमेंट | उपचार, इलाज |
| report | रिपोर्ट | रिपोर्ट, प्रतिवेदन |
| scan | स्कैन | स्कैन, छाप लेना |
| afternoon | आफ़्टरनून | दोपहर, अपराह्न |
| number | नंबर | नंबर, फ़ोन नंबर |
| times | टाइम्स | समय, बार |
| late | लेट | देर से, धीमे से |
| evening | ईवनिंग | शाम, संध्या |
| response | रिस्पॉन्स | प्रतिक्रिया, जवाब |
| morning | मॉर्निंग | सुबह, प्रातःकाल |
| preambles | प्रिएम्बल्स | प्रस्तावना, प्रारंभिक बातचीत |
| time | टाइम | समय, वक्त |
| answered | आंसर्ड | उत्तर दिया, जवाब दिया |
‘Listen Amitav, the news is not good at all. Basically they are going to stop all my medicines now —the chemotherapy and so on. They give me a year or less. They’d suspected that I was not responding well because of the way I look. They will give me some radiation a little later. But they said there was not much hope.’ Dazed, staring blankly at my desk, I said: ‘What will you do now Shahid?’
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| news | न्यूज़ | समाचार, ख़बर |
| medicines | मेडिसिन्स | दवाएँ, औषधि |
| chemotherapy | केमोथेरेपी | कीमोथेरेपी, रोगाणुशास्त्री उपचार |
| radiation | रेडिएशन | किरण, विकिरण |
| year | यियर | साल, वर्ष |
| look | लुक | देखना, चेहरा |
| hope | होप | आशा, उम्मीद |
| desk | डेस्क | मेज़, टेबल |
| dazed | डेज़्ड | भ्रमित, उलझा |
| staring | स्टेरिंग | टकटकी, घूरना |
| blankly | ब्लैंक्ली | खाली, रिक्तता से |
| said | सेड | कहा, बोला |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद (नाम) |
‘I would like to go back to Kashmir to die.’ His voice was quiet and untroubled. ‘Now I have to get my passport, settle my will and all that. I don’t want to leave a mess for my siblings. But after that I would like to go to Kashmir. It’s still such a feudal system there and there will be so much support
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| voice | वॉइस | आवाज़, ध्वनि |
| passport | पासपोर्ट | पासपोर्ट |
| will | विल | इच्छापत्र, वसीयतनामा |
| mess | मेस | गड़बड़, भंगार |
| siblings | सिबलिंग्स | भाई-बहन, सहोदर-सहोदरी |
| feudal | फ़्यूडल | सामंतवादी, ज़मींदारी संबंधी |
| system | सिस्टम | सिस्टम, तंत्र |
| support | सपोर्ट | समर्थन, सहारा |
and my father is there too. Anyway, I don’t want my siblings to have to make the journey afterwards, like we had to with my mother.’ Later, because of logistical and other reasons, he changed his mind about returning to Kashmir: he was content to be laid to rest in Northampton, in the vicinity of Amherst, a town sacred to the memory of his beloved Emily Dickinson. But I do not think it was an accident that his mind turned to Kashmir in
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| father | फ़ादर | पिता, बाप |
| siblings | सिबलिंग्स | भाई-बहन, सहोदर-सहोदरी |
| journey | जर्नी | यात्रा, सफ़र |
| mother | मदर | माँ, माता |
| logistical | लॉजिस्टिकल | यातायातिक, व्यवस्थापन संबंधी |
| reasons | रीज़न्स | कारण, वजह |
| mind | माइंड | मन, बुद्धि |
| Kashmir | कश्मीर | कश्मीर |
| Northampton | नार्थहैम्प्टन | नार्थहैम्प्टन (नाम) |
| vicinity | विसिनिटी | आसपास, पड़ोस |
| Amherst | एम्हर्स्ट | एम्हर्स्ट (नाम) |
| town | टाउन | शहर, नगर |
| sacred | सेक्रेड | पवित्र, महत्त्वपूर्ण |
| memory | मेमोरी | स्मृति, याद |
| beloved | बिलोव्ड | प्रिय, प्यारा |
| Emily Dickinson | एमिली डिकिंसन | एमिली डिकिंसन (नाम) |
| accident | ऐक्सिडेंट | दुर्घटना, अकस्मात |
speaking of death . Already, in his poetic imagery, death, Kashmir, and Sháhid/Shahid had become so closely overlaid as to be inseparable, like old photographs that have melted together in the rain. Yes, I remember it, the day I’ll die, I broadcast the crimson, so long ago of that sky, its spread air, its rushing
| Word | Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| speaking | एस्पीकिंग | बोलना |
| death | डेथ | मौत |
| Already | ऑलरेडी | पहले ही |
| poetic | पोएटिक | कवितात्मक |
| imagery | इमेजरी | चित्रकारी |
| death | डेथ | मौत |
| Kashmir | कश्मीर | कश्मीर |
| Sháhid/Shahid | शाहिद/शहीद | शहीद |
| had | हैड | था |
| become | बीकम | बन गया |
| closely | क्लोसली | करीब से |
| overlaid | ओवरलेड | ढक दिया गया |
| inseparable | इनसेपरेबल | अलग नहीं हो सकने वाला |
| like | लाइक | जैसा |
| old | ओल्ड | पुराना |
| photographs | फोटोग्राफ्स | तस्वीरें |
| melted | मेल्टेड | पिघल गया |
| together | टूगेदर | साथ में |
| rain | रेन | बारिश |
| remember | रिमेंबर | याद रखना |
| day | डे | दिन |
| die | डाइ | मरना |
| broadcast | ब्रॉडकास्ट | प्रसारित करना |
| crimson | क्रिमसन | लालिमा |
| long | लॉग | लंबा |
| ago | अगो | पहले |
| sky | स्काई | आकाश |
| spread | स्प्रेड | फैलाव |
| air | एयर | हवा |
| rushing | रशिंग | तेजी से आना |
dyes, and a piece of earth bleeding, apart from the shore, as we went on the day I’ll die, post the guards, and he, keeper of the world’s last saffron, rowed me on an island the size of a grave. On two yards he rowed me into the sunset, past all pain. On everyone’s lips was news of my death but only that beloved couplet, broken, on his: ‘If there is a paradise on earth It is this, it is this, it is this.
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| dyes | डाईज़ | रंग |
| piece | पीस | टुकड़ा |
| earth | पृथ्वी | पृथ्वी |
| bleeding | ब्लीडिंग | खून बहना |
| apart | अपार्ट | अलग |
| shore | शोर | किनारा |
| went | वेंट | गया |
| day | डे | दिन |
| die | डाई | मरना |
| post | पोस्ट | भेजना |
| guards | गार्ड्स | गार्ड |
| keeper | कीपर | रखनेवाला |
| world’s | वर्ल्ड़्स | दुनिया का |
| last | लास्ट | अंतिम |
| saffron | सैफ्रॉन | केसर |
| rowed | रोवड़ | चलाया |
| island | आइलंड | टापू |
| size | साइज़ | आकार |
| grave | ग्रेव | कब्र |
| two | टू | दो |
| yards | यार्ड्स | गज़ |
| sunset | सनसेट | सूर्यास्त |
| past | पास्ट | गुजरता |
| pain | पेन | दर्द |
| everyone’s | एव्रीवन्स | सबका |
| lips | लिप्स | होंठ |
| news | न्यूज़ | समाचार |
| death | डेथ | मौत |
| beloved | बेलव्ड | प्यारा |
| couplet | कपलेट | दोपदा |
| broken | ब्रोकन | टूटा |
| paradise | पैराडाइस | स्वर्ग |
| earth | अर्थ | पृथ्वी |
| paradise | पैराडाइस | स्वर्ग |
The last time I saw Shahid was on 27 October, at his brother’s house in Amherst. He was intermittently able to converse and there were moments when we talked just as we had in the past. He was aware, as he had long been, of his approaching end and he had made his peace with it.
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| last | लास्ट | अंतिम |
| time | टाइम | समय |
| Shahid | शाहिद | शाहिद |
| October | अक्टूबर | अक्टूबर |
| brother’s | ब्रदर्स | भाई का |
| house | हाउस | घर |
| Amherst | अमहर्स्ट | अमहर्स्ट |
| intermittently | इंटर्मिटंटली | आवर्ती |
| able | एबल | सक्षम |
| converse | कन्वर्स | बातचीत |
| moments | मोमेंट्स | क्षण |
| talked | टॉक्ड | बात की |
| past | पास्ट | बीता हुआ |
| aware | अवेयर | जागरूक |
| long | लॉंग | लंबे समय तक |
| approaching | अप्रोचिंग | आसन्न |
| end | एंड | अंत |
| made | मेड | बनाया |
| peace | पीस | शांति |
I saw no trace of anguish or conflict: surrounded by the love of his family and friends, he was calm, contented, at peace. He had said to me once, ‘I love to think that I’ll meet my mother in the afterlife, if there is an afterlife.’ I had the sense that as the end neared, this was his supreme consolation. He died peacefully, in his sleep, at 2 a.m. on 8 December.
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| trace | ट्रेस | संकेत |
| anguish | ऐंग्विश | दुख |
| conflict | कॉन्फ्लिक्ट | संघर्ष |
| love | लव | प्यार |
| family | फैमिली | परिवार |
| friends | फ्रेंड्स | दोस्त |
| calm | काम | शांत |
| contented | कंटेंटेड | संतुष्ट |
| peace | पीस | शांति |
| said | सैड | कहा |
| think | थिंक | सोचना |
| meet | मीट | मिलना |
| mother | मदर | मां |
| afterlife | आफ्टरलाइफ | परलोक |
| sense | सेंस | अनुभूति |
| end | एंड | अंत |
| neared | नियर्ड | पास आ गया |
| supreme | सुप्रीम | सर्वोच्च |
| consolation | कॉन्सोलेशन | सांत्वना |
| died | डाइड | मर गया |
| peacefully | पीस्फुल्ली | शांति से |
| sleep | स्लीप | नींद |
| December | डिसेंबर | दिसंबर |
Now, in his absence, I am amazed that so brief a friendship has resulted in so vast a void. Often, when I walk into my living room, I remember his presence there, particularly on the night when he read us his farewell to the world: ‘I Dream I Am At the Ghat of the Only World…
| English Word | Hindi Pronunciation | Hindi Meaning |
| absence | अब्सेंस | अनुपस्थिति |
| amazed | अमेज्ड | हैरान |
| brief | ब्रीफ | संक्षिप्त |
| friendship | फ्रेंडशिप | मित्रता |
| resulted | रिज़ल्टेड | परिणामित हुआ |
| vast | वास्ट | विशाल |
| void | वॉइड | रिक्तता |
| walk | वॉक | चलना |
| living | लिविंग | जीने का |
| room | रूम | कमरा |
| presence | प्रेज़न्स | मौजूदगी |
| particularly | पार्टिक्यूलर्ली | विशेषतः |
| night | नाइट | रात |
| read | रीड | पढ़ा |
| farewell | फेयरवेल | विदाई |
| world | वर्ल्ड | दुनिया |
| dream | ड्रीम | सपना |
| Ghat | घाट | घाट |
| only | ओन्ली | केवल |